Action - Putting the Theory in Motion...

Having a respect and acknowledgment of their own contribution is key
to their Happiness and self esteem. Beyond expressing gratitude to
their own being, clients are encouraged to express through intentions,
as well as words, the appreciation and gratitude they have towards
others who have helped them. Seeing the contribution that others have
made and acknowledging this effort is important to the release of ego
and understanding the connectedness we all share.

At this stage in the process, clients learn to appreciate and enjoy
their own innate beliefs and abilities. Their is a joy the client
receives in being able to recognize the progress they have made and
how they can now sufficiently and effectively handle their own
situations, with the knowledge they possess about themselves and
others. Further, they are able to recognize each situation as a
learning situation and really integrate the principle of reframing an
issue as a blessing - looking for the loving essence and beauty in
every situation.

The net results of having reached a point where the client has
integrated the principles of Awareness, Love, Openness, and Happiness
leads to a situation where the client experiences an inner peace and
calm - They have a clear sense of their inner world as well as the
world around them and are able to see the interconnectedness of their
experiences. From this place of inner peace and calm, a client is
introduced to the final stage of The ALOHA Life, which is to take
Action and bring their desired outcomes into a physical reality.

One of the most effective ways to counsel a client in making an
effective Action plan is to begin by creating an ideal scene for each
of the key areas of the client's life - This will provide a roadmap of
what the client wants to achieve provides a visual reference point in
the future.

Once an Ideal Scene has been created, the client moves into
experiencing the Living Vision exercise - Through this first person,
highly descriptive account of what the client will do when they are in
the Ideal Scene they desire, the individual is able to reinforce and
integrate their ideal vision with the current mindset and begin the
peel away the layers separating the two perspectives.

Once this Living Vision has been crystalized in the client's mind,
the counselor works towards establishing SMART goals to help the
person understand the steps required to reach this point. SMART goals
are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. These
goals are then taken and broken into "chunks", small 3 foot tosses of
the Actions that need to be carried out in order to attain the goal.

Once the client has clearly created a plan and pathway to reach their
goals, they are asked to review their Ideal Scenes twice a day - once
in the morning and once before sleeping in order to condition their
mind to focus its' intentions on the outcomes the client wishes to
achieve. To help keep track of the client's progress, they are
encouraged to keep a journal of their experiences, which can be used
as a reference during future challenges similar to their current
situation.

And finally, The ALOHA life recognizes that the client is in a
constant state of evolution, making frequent and necessary changes as
their journey continues and their growth demands a modification in
their original plan or a change in their overall awareness, which
simply means the process can begin again. The evolutionary stage of
growth is similar to Covey's principle of sharpening the saw, and once
understood becomes an on-going journey towards Mastery - leading
towards an ideal of a whole and complete Authentic Self. Aloha!

Happiness - Learning to Smile...

Once a client has integrated the first three areas into their
framework, we move towards a celebration of all that they have and
life offers. This stage in The ALOHA Life is known as Happiness and
it begins with the client learning to recognize and journal the many
blessings they already have in their life.

The client learns to have an appreciation for what they have created
for themselves, what they have received from others. In this stage,
the client is able to see the joy in having manifestations of their
dreams come true and genuinely appreciate this presence in their
life. During the happiness stage, the client learns to express
gratitude first to themselves for being able to create these elements
in their life. Having a respect and acknowledgment of their own
contribution is key to their Happiness and self esteem.

Beyond expressing gratitude to their own being, clients are
encouraged to express through intentions, as well as words, the
appreciation and gratitude they have towards others who have helped
them. Seeing the contribution that others have made and acknowledging
this effort is important to the release of ego and understanding the
connectedness we all share.

At this stage in the process, clients learn to appreciate and enjoy
their own innate beliefs and abilities. Their is a joy the client
receives in being able to recognize the progress they have made and
how they can now sufficiently and effectively handle their own
situations, with the knowledge they possess about themselves and others.

Further, they are able to recognize each situation as a learning
situation and really integrate the principle of reframing an issue as
a blessing - looking for the loving essence and beauty in every
situation.

Openness - The transformation point...

To this point, we have been primarily interested in developing a
focus that is based around inner work and understanding the Authentic
Self. As a client masters the areas of Awareness and Love, we see a
butterfly effect as the client begins to trust and follow an inner
guide, as they journey into the "outer" world and greater interaction
with other forces. This stage of Openness is predicated on the
client's belief that the world is our campus and every experience is
an opportunity to learn and grow.

The client, with a keen sense of awareness and love, begins to
intuitively interpret their experiences by learning to reference their
experiences against an open dialogue with their inner counselor.
Although initially seen as being "outside" of their being, with time,
their openness to an inner counselor in this stage, as an outside
influence builds the foundation of seeking assistance from others.
The inner counselor becomes integrated into the character of the Self,
and soon, a client's own thoughts and intentions function in greater
unison with the inner counselor, making virtually no distinction - The
inner counselor becomes a "safe place" for which the client can always
return and view as a powerful resource to guide them in their every
day life.

Having established the value in seeking "outside" guidance or
counsel, the client is now encouraged to explore the area of the
intuitive self, or supra-conscious, where they can tune into their
highest sense and help from spirit. While in a way, it is an
extension of their inner counselor, this stage allows the client to
interpret assistance that comes in the everyday wonderment of living,
not just from attunement to their inner counselor. Understanding the
manifestation of dreams, submitting issues to spirit for resolution,
and releasing attachment to emotions and to the greater power of the
universe are elements of this stage of development. Sometimes it is
easier for the client to initially see these influences outside of
their own being, but again, the influence of spirit, without the
presence of ego, becomes an extension of the Authentic Self as the
client learns to trust this influence and allow it to integrate with
the own being.

Having fully integrated all the elements thus far, and developing a
strong sense of self-reliance, personal responsibility, and connection
to inner resources, the client is now encouraged to seek and accept
the help of others. Having no expectation or dependent need on
others, the client is in a healthy space to see the influence of
others as a welcome addition to their own skills and resources, rather
than a crutch or necessity. It's a key distinction for the client to
make and, similar to the stage of Love, The ALOHA Life emphasizes
personal resources and inner work first and outer assistance as
supplementary, so as to avoid the emotional expectation often put on
others.

The client is encouraged to develop inter-dependent relationships
with other independent, self-reliant individuals in a healthy and
uplifting manner. There is not judgement on others at various stages
of their journey, the client is able to extend a loving presence and
understanding towards all. However, as the client develops their own
sense of independence they are able to identify and disassociate with
aspects of their personality or relationships that no longer suit them
and instead focus on the areas that support their highest good, and
the good of others.

Love - The Crux of ALOHA...

As the real issues become clear for a client and they are truly aware
of where they need to focus, we begin developing a phase based on
love. The counselor initiates this process by seeing the loving
essence in the client and encouraging the client to see their own
loving essence, to really appreciate what they value and cherish about
their own being. I feel that self-love is key to any future work that
a client must do, because without this love and acceptance, is would
be hard to progress to any future growth.

Central to the idea of self-love, the client learns to accept their
self as it is today. The process of psychosynthesis, asking "Who am
I?" and learning to shed the layers that are created as an outer
vision of their own Self, leaving a view that they can hold forth and
embrace, as a foundation for growth. I believe that the client may
spend a great deal of time in this stage of the counseling since many
of their underlying issues may emanate from a fractured view of Self
that needs to be healed and rebuilt on a solid foundation. Once the
client has really allowed these feelings to seep into their being, to
love and accept themselves EXACTLY as they are, with an appreciation
of where they need to grow (from the Awareness stage), only then to we
turn their attention outward towards loving and accepting others.

Loving and accepting others extends from a love of one's Self - the
ego feelings are replaced with a clearer vision of the Authentic Self,
as a welcomed and accepted being to extend this essence to others.
When a client has learned to let go of limiting beliefs and judgement,
first of their own being, they are well-positioned to do the same with
others. The client is encouraged to see the loving essence in other
individuals and deal with the issue of expectations.

Often in this stage of one's development, if Self Love has not been
established, the client looks to find that love from others and is
often disappointed when this does not exist. By learning to recognize
the divine being in all living things, the client starts from a
position of extending love, first to themselves, and then to others,
as an infinite resource that is not transactional. It is a profound
stage for the client's development when they have developed Mastery in
the area of The ALOHA Life known as Love. The work at USM, especially
the early stages of our study, of learning to see the loving essence
and truly listen, are cornerstones of successful development in this
area.

Awareness: The First A...

The basic starting point for The ALOHA Life theory of counseling is
Awareness. The client begins by becoming "aware" - of their self, of
their thoughts, of their emotions, and the issue at hand.

By working through different counseling methods, the client is
encouraged to explore the issue by realizing the source of what they
are experiencing. The focus is on the issue and "self" rather than
the "why" or story behind the emotions.

A client is encouraged to work to a greater understanding of what
exactly brings forth the feelings they are experiencing, tapping into
their unconscious for guidance.

Again, the focus is self-guided and conversations and an
understanding of their Inner counselor as well as basic elements of
meditation are key components to helping a client become aware of what
is present for them.

Why Did I Create The ALOHA Life?

In creating my approach to counseling for a Masters Program at USM (University of Santa Monica), a few elements were important to me.

In fact, I had been working on developing a theory before I came to USM and thought that I might develop the project during my time here, but I decided to hold off because I wanted to remain open to the many things we would learn before biasing my work with a preconceived notion.

When I originally thought of the this approach, I had been dabbling in a number of different areas, mainly of Eastern and Indian influence. One thing that I felt, though, was that these were approaches that were not easily accessible to an everyday person, but almost stratified for learning by people predisposed to have an interest in the field. I felt that we are fortunate in Southern California to be surrounded by so many influences and opportunities, but not everyone has this type of exposure. Therefore, it was important to me to create something that, in my own words, would be easily understood and appreciated by "the everyday guy in Kansas", who had no background whatsoever in spirituality or psychology. The next important part was that it would be primarily self-guided in application.

So my intention was clear and then one day, when I was in the shower (where a surprising number of ideas seem to come up), the word ALOHA came to mind. I always liked the word, it brings a smile to my face, and it seems well accepted in most people's lexicon. As I was standing there, the idea for each letter came to me, and I realized that these could become anchoring points for people to go through a journey of self-discovery. 

By the time I reached for conditioner (self-serving part of the story), the 5 letters each had a meaning, though the last one I've changed since I first came up with this idea 18 months ago. ALOHA - The "A" would stand for Awareness, "L" represents Love, "O" symbolizes Openness, "H" is for Happiness, and the final "A" is for Action (initially I had this letter represent Appreciation, but I felt that taking action was an important principle in the theory and, especially in terms of personal responsibility).

That was it - 5 letters that each represent an aspect of counseling and development, that would build on each other and provide a framework for a person to easily reference throughout their life - During the ebb and flow of an individual's journey, they may be at different points or move forward and backward along this path, but it's meant to be an infinite loop, starting with Awareness and leading to Action.  In the next few blogs, I'll detail each of the stages of The ALOHA Life.

Once we're through the basics of the theory, I'll provide on-going experiences and interactions which illustrate ALOHA in my life...

1 Aloha Life...

Okay, the name is rigged to appear at the top of alphabetical lists - at least that was the first idea - then I realized that rather than preaching about a formula for 'The Aloha Life', I would simply present one ALOHA life... mine.  Take from it what you will - they are my experiences and insights for you to do with what you will - I wish you the best in creating one life that truly works for you....